A groundbreaking guide to facing adversity by a world-leading psychiatrist and trauma expert. When we re enjoying spring and summer, we don t imagine that they ll last forever. The same should be true for our own lives. Some survivors are unflappable, yet it s not their optimism or grit that carries them forward, but their acceptance of life s inherent instability. In her debut book, Harvard- and Stanford-trained child and adult psychiatrist Dr Suzan Song draws from her clinical practice, patient stories and research to help readers release their unrealistic longing for stability, using the three tools that allow us to weather life's stormiest seasons: narrative, ritual and purpose. Dr Song draws on the visual motifs of the three friends of winter in Korean art pine, bamboo and plum blossoms plants that thrive even in the harshest of winters. For all humankind the universal three friends of winter, are narrative, rituals and purpose. Why We Suffer and How We Heal will open us up to a new, heathier mindset and teach us to transform life's challenges into opportunities for growth and resilience.